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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/28771398">It’ll Be No Longer Just Us</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/skaioctavia/pseuds/skaioctavia'>skaioctavia</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Peraltiago Parenthood. [1]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Brooklyn Nine-Nine (TV)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Amy Santiago Has A Panic Attack, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Jake Peralta/Amy Santiago Fluff, Married Amy Santiago and Jake Peralta, Married Couple, Panic Attacks, Pregnancy, Sergeant Amy Santiago, Unplanned Pregnancy, Worried Jake Peralta</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-01-15</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-01-15</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-13 06:07:56</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>3,211</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/28771398</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/skaioctavia/pseuds/skaioctavia</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Amy hasn’t been acting like herself lately and they both know that. Jake pretends not to notice it though, knowing that when she’s ready to open up to him she would.</p><p>Until there’s a day he can no longer avoid it.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Jake Peralta &amp; Amy Santiago, Jake Peralta/Amy Santiago</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Peraltiago Parenthood. [1]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/2190426</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>48</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>It’ll Be No Longer Just Us</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>hey guys, how ya doing? hope you like this one-shot! i pretend to write a following story to this, but i’m not quite sure yet. anyway, hope you enjoy this! kudos &amp; comments are welcome :) also if you have a story request/prompt you can dm on twitter @/starsminnie or on wattpad @/linzzone! &lt;3</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Another day at the police precinct begun as Jake passed through the elevator’s door and walked towards his desk with his backpack on his shoulder. Anyone seemed to notice his arrival, while they all looked concentrated on their duties. Charles was massaging his temple, looking blankly at his laptop, holding a pen between his fingers, and Jake could tell he was trying to find a connection in the fire’s that have been happening a while now. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Someone is igniting New York’s theaters. Jake and Charles are the ones working in this case, but until now they have no clues; they don’t have a suspect, they don’t have a motive, and they don’t know where will be the next fire and if these are random theaters or if this is something planned. They have nothing, and it frustrates both Charles and Jake.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Rosa was . . . well, being Rosa. She was typing in her laptop, but then started yelling at it and they trowed it onto the ground making everyone jump and look at her as she walked to Captain’s office as nothing happened.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Terry was drinking his yogurt while reading some papers on his desk and Gina was with her headphones on and Peralta would bet she was listening to some of Beyoncé’s songs.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He sat on his chair with a sigh, placing his bag hanging on the chair. He let out another sigh and picked up some papers that were on his desk to start his work.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He had to review some stuff after closing a case he had solved a week ago with Amy. They arrested a serial killer who had murderer eight people all of the cops and pretended to kill so many others. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">The thought of Amy made his heart ache He wasn’t acting like herself lately. She was skipping meals, always seeming tired, never wanting to hang up with the squad . . . He was afraid that something was bothering her, but he knew pushing her to talk wouldn’t help, so he was just pretending not to notice it though he knew Amy knew, and was waiting for the time when she feel ready to talk up to him.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Meanwhile, he was doing his better to cheer her up. Last night, he watched a two hour documentary about the mind with her. He didn’t understand a single thing that was said, but Amy seemed to be pretty interested and always when she said things like “This is obvious!” or “A kid already knows this!”, he smiled at her and was glad she was being distracted by this.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Though Jake wanted so bad to know what was wrong with his wife, he knew her too well to push her to talk. It wouldn’t led him anywhere further and would just make things worse. Amy is stubborn and doesn’t like to talk about her problems with other people but she always ended up opening up to Jake, because she knew whatever was bothering her, Jake would never judge her or make her feel stupid. He always finds ways to help her, no matter how big the problem is, and this is for sure one of the things she loves in him the most.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Hey Jake,” Charles said approaching Jake’s desk. Jake tossed his pen in the desk stopping what he was doing to talk to Boyle.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Hey, Boyle. What’s up?”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“I was trying to find a connection between the fire’s and I found something interesting.”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“What is it?” Jake asked, glad that finally they had a clue on the case.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“All the theaters have one thing in common: a theater student called Luccas Griffin. He participated in some acting classes in all those theaters, but never for too long.”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“That’s awesome, Boyle!” Jake says, standing up smiling. “He maybe was hoping they’d cast him on a play but it never happened?”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“So he is taking revenge on the theaters,” Boyle completed Jake’s thought and they both smiled at each other.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“This is a good clue. We have to go talk to him right now!”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Boyle nods and grabs his jacket on his desk and puts it on. When Jake’s ready to leave, Captain Holt calls him from his office. He looks at Boyle, “Go, I’ll catch you up.” Boyle nodded once more and Jake went to Holt’s office.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">While the Captain closed his door and sat on his chair, Jake tried to read his emotions. He was with his eyebrows slightly raised, his shoulders seemed tensed and his lips were wide open. He knew something was wrong.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“What’s wrong, Captain?”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He sighed. “Well, I don’t know if something is wrong but I think you should check up on your wife.”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Jake tensed and worried filled him. “What’s wrong with Amy? Is she okay?”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“She called and asked to have a day off because she doesn’t feel well today. I thought I should warn you since she is your wife. You can go home and see if she needs anything. If you guys need my help, you can call me.”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Thank you, Captain,” Jake said and ran out of his office, rushing to his car, managing to text Boyle telling him he wouldn’t be able to talk to the suspect right now and he would explain everything later. Now, his only worry was his wife.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He knew he should have insisted to know if she was really okay. He had to wake her up—something he had never did, because she was always the one who woke up earlier and woke him up—and it still was really hard to get her off the bed. While they ate breakfast, he noticed she didn’t just look tired, she looked exhausted and didn’t eat even 20% of her breakfast. When he asked her if she was okay, she said she was and just wasn’t hungry that time. When he offered her a drive to work like he always did, she didn’t accept. Amy said she would go to work in her car because she had to do some stuff before going to work. He didn’t push this further though he wishes he did now.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">*  *  *</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Amy was cleaning the kitchen that was really a mess because of Peralta, who tried to cook her pancakes. Amy’d make sure Jake never got close to the kitchen ever again.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">She was okay, just a little tired but nothing she couldn’t handle. She had an eight-hour straight shift in less than one hour and she had to finish cleaning up everything before going to work. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">And then, she wasn’t okay anymore. A wave of dizziness hit her and she had to sit down on the kitchen’s chair otherwise she would fell to the ground. She groans squeezing her eyes shut, and started massaging her temple as a huge headache got her too.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Amy hasn’t been feeling like herself lately. Her stomach’s weird—she can’t eat anything without throwing it up later—, she feels dizziness at random times like when she wakes up or when she’s walking to the precinct’s bathroom. Every morning when she wakes up she has to rush to the bathroom, and this has been going on a while now.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">She should tell Jake, so he’d drive her to the doctor but the truth is Amy doesn’t want to worry him. He’s already in a stressful month because of the fires that are happening in Nee York and she doesn’t want to add something else to his plate, though she knows he’d forget everything else to help her—and this is the last thing she wants.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Today when she woke up it is all the same. She feels good at first, but then she felt this dizziness, and not long before she feels her dinner rising in her throat and run to the bathroom. She finished throwing up but didn’t leave the bathroom, she just keeps sitting there on the floor with her back leaned on the wall. Her breathing is uneven, and she feels her heart skipping some beats.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">She has been denying it for </span>
  <span class="s2">too </span>
  <span class="s1">long. The throwing ups, the dizziness, she crying every time she watches some stupid thing on TV—they’re all can say just one thing.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">She tries to calm down first, then she’ll go to the pharmacy and buy a pregnancy test. What if she’s pregnant, what will she do? She’s just become a Sergeant, she barely had time to achieve any of her goals and she has to work 2 times harder to gain the respect of her squad—something she knows she didn’t yet—and being pregnant won’t help it. Sure, she always dreamed to be a mother but Jake and she never had this conversation and she feels like neither of them is ready for this, not yet.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">As she calmed down a bit, she manages to stand up, pick her purse, and go to the pharmacy, still fearing what result this test would have.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">While she walked hesitantly to the pharmacy, she wondered what would be Jake’s reaction if the test says positive. Will he be mad? Will he be happy? </span>
  <em>
    <span class="s2">Of course he’s going to be happy though it wasn’t planned</span>
  </em>
  <span class="s1"><em>,</em> she tried to tell herself, still, she feared the worst. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Then she remembers the only time they were close to talk about having a kid, and it makes things so much worse.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <em>
    <span class="s2">Jake and Amy were cuddling in their bed, watching a movie in which a couple wants to have a baby and when they finally have it, their baby’s born with a disease that there’s no cure until then. </span>
  </em>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <em>
    <span class="s2">Amy was basically crying in Jake’s chest and he was just rolling his eyes and comforting her rubbing circles on her back anyway. The movie ends and she sits up wiping her tears and he sits up too, embracing her waist.</span>
  </em>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <em>
    <span class="s2">“You okay?” he asked even knowing it was a stupid question.</span>
  </em>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <em>
    <span class="s2">“Yeah,” she said and then smiled. “It is just . . . so sad these things happen. I don’t know what I would do if this happened to </span>
    <span class="s1">our </span>
    <span class="s2">baby.”</span>
  </em>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <em>
    <span class="s2">Jake sighs and lays back on the bed, trying to avoid her gaze so she couldn’t see what his eyes were telling, because with Amy was always like this—she can read his emotions just looking in his eyes like a book she’s already read three thousand times. He just becomes so vulnerable in front of her, he doesn’t know either how or why, but it just happens.</span>
  </em>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s2"><em>“That’s why we should . . . think before having a kid. I mean, we’re bringing a new life</em> to the <em>world and we can’t do it if we’re not 110% ready. And these things—diseases, loss, and pain can come too,” he says, doesn’t want to speak out the words “I don’t want to have a kid,” but he’s pretty sure Amy heard it anyway. She just nodded, seeming upset and he instantly regretted he had said anything. He opened his mouth to say something else, but she laid again in his chest and whispered “Good night,” and didn’t say a word after.</em></span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">*  *  *</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">As he arrived at their apartment, he got off the car as quickly as he managed and ran to the elevator. He could feel his anxiety grow more and more and when the elevator stopped on the third floor it made him sigh in frustration. He finally arrived at his level and got off the elevator without saying good morning to Miss Smith, which he knew she would complain the next time they see each other but it didn’t matter now. All that mattered was Amy.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He turned the handle and entered the house. It seemed so quiet and cold and he worried more. Normally Amy was always listening to some podcast or documentary in the leaving room or watching some random programs on the bed—either way, the house wouldn’t be </span>
  <span class="s2">this </span>
  <span class="s1">silent.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s2">Calm down Jake,</span>
  <span class="s1"> he said to himself. </span>
  <span class="s2">She can be showering, or sleeping. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Ames?” he asked as he tossed his stuff on the couch. “Ames, are you here? Holt told me you’re sick.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He never got an answer. He went to their bedroom and found it empty. He opened the bathroom door, and it was when he felt his whole world falling apart.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Amy was there, laying on the bathroom floor.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Oh my God,” he gasped. He dropped to her side, his ankles hurting from the sudden movement (he had sprained them three months ago at work) but he didn’t care. He placed his arm under her shoulders and laid her hand on his lap. He could tell by the rise and fall of her chest she was alive, she was still breathing and it sends a wave of relief down to him, but it never really reached his soul, as he realized her breathing was uneven and she gasped for air desperately as if the air didn’t reach her lugs and she was hyperventilating. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">She was having a panic attack.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Hey, Ames, babe, I’m here. It’s okay, it’s okay,” he said calmly, managing to bring her up to a sit position and laying her head on his chest. “Hon’, listen to my hearting beat and follow my breathing, okay? Everything’s gonna be just fine. Just follow my breathing Ames.”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">She nodded weakly and started to try to stabilize her breathing, but then after some second the air seemed to choke on her throat and she let out a sob. Her thoughts were a mess, she couldn’t even process them, it was just like a lot of people talking at the same time incoherent things. But one voice stood upon the others; the one that says “Jake’s going to hate you and won’t want this baby.”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">She starts crying again and her whole body shakes violently and Jake holds her tighter by every second that passes by he wonders he’s suffocating her. He pulls back a little to look at her face—her eyes were red and puffy, there were black circles under them and her nose was a little red, a thing that always happened when she has been crying a lot.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s2">God, </span>
  <span class="s1">how could he be so careless? He knew she has been acting off for a while, and still, he did </span>
  <span class="s2">nothing. </span>
  <span class="s1">Now here she is, having a panic attack. And to be honest, Jake had never seen have a panic attack so bad like this for over a year now, and it worries him. Something must be deeply wrong going on and he just ignored it.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He tries to catch her gaze but he can’t even tell if she’s seeing anything—her eyes don’t seem to focus on anything. He squeezes her hand, not hoping to have a squeeze back, and then says, “Ames, look at me.”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">She let out another sob, but didn’t look into his eyes. She didn’t even seem to have heard what he said. He holds her cheeks, still, her eyes don’t look up at his. Her breathing seemed more uneven than before and he could tell it just send more panic at her.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">So he kissed her and tried to stabilize her breathing through the kiss. She didn’t respond, though he didn’t expect her to. When he pulled apart, her breathing was coming back to normal but her body was still shaky, so he held her and this time she hugged back.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“It’s okay, babe. I’m here, everything’s okay.”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">She pulled back slowly and blinked. “Jake?” she managed to ask in a shaky voice.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Yes, babe. I’m here.”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">She just hugged him again, and they stayed there for a while.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">*  *  *</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">They were now in the kitchen. Jake had helped her go downstairs and offered her a cup of water which she accepted gladly. When she finished her water, Jake kneeled in front of her and grabbed her hand, and she knew there was no escape from this.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Ames, what happened?” he asked carefully.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Amy sighs. “You’re gonna be mad,” she whispered, and Jake frowned.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Babe,” he sighed, grabbing her both hands and squeezing them, “I’d never be mad at you. Why would I be mad?”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“I . . . “ she starts to say, but her voice cracks and she can’t find the words to tell him this. She imagines his face full of disappointment and sadness and anger and she just wants to pretend it never happened, though she obviously can’t.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Ames, I want to help you, but I can’t if you don’t tell me what’s happening,” Jake whispers softly.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Amy inhales and when she gained the strength to tell him, she said, “I’ve been feeling . . . weird this past few days.”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Jake nodded and squeezed her hand harder, fearing what’d come next. What would he do if she’s sick and he just pretended not to notice the symptoms? What if it was bad? </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“My stomach was awkward, I always got tired easily, I felt dizzy sometimes, I was throwing up every day and at first I just denied it, thinking it was just a cold or the flu, but then today it hit me: something must have been going really wrong.”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Jake nodded slowly and she continued, “So, after you went to work, I felt dizzy and then I throw up and I decided I wasn’t avoiding it anymore.” She takes a deep breath and before she could say anything, Jake kissed her hands that were in his and looked at her with his loving caring eyes.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Ames, whatever is wrong . . . we will deal with it. Together.”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Amy gave him a sad weak little smile and then whispered the words, “Jake, I’m pregnant.”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Jake’s mouth drops open, and he has no words. He was speechless, he couldn’t think of anything to say. He was still processing this news.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">But his silence was interpreted by Amy in another way. She took her hands off his and felt her breathing destabilizing again. “I knew you’d be mad, I . . . Jake, I’m sorry. I—“</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Ames,” he says hold her face gently making her gaze found his. He caressed her cheeks and a single tear fell from her tearing eyes and he wiped it, smiling. She grabbed his wist and caressed it, “I’m not mad. I’d never be mad.”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“You’re not?”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“No,” he says. “Why would I be mad, babe?”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“I thought you didn’t want to have kids . . . “</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Well, to be honest, I’ve never really liked the idea,” he started and saw her eyes turned panicked so he added, “but now, with my beautiful wife telling me she’s pregnant . . . “ He smiled and brush her hair off her face. “I couldn’t be happier.”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Amy’s eyes showed now relief and happiness. She smiled and asked hesitantly, “You mean that?”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Yes, Ames. I mean that.” He caressed her cheek and her hand rested on his. “I know this wasn’t planned and I may have made you believe I didn’t want to have kids, but I’m really happy, Ames. We will have a baby!”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“We will,” she says smiling, and kisses him. “I love you, Jake.”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“I love you.” He kisses her lips. “And I love you.” He kisses her belly and she giggles.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“We should tell everyone else?” Amy asks.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“No. Not yet, at least. I think we should keep this for ourselves for a while.”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“I never agreed more,” she said and kissed him again.</span>
</p>
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